The luck of the draw

Sometimes it rains...

"Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains." Did you think about it? Did it inspire you to dust off that old Bull Durham DVD and watch it again? I couldn't find mine but that's my problem.

Anyway, sometimes you win, and you get to watch a great coach at work with your youngsters. The children are actively engaged with learning their sport, developing their skills and hunger for more. But I fear that many experience those seasons that they feel will never end. Your child gets little playing time, the coach isn't involved with the players and nobody seems to be learning or showing signs of improvement.

Disclaimer Alert. I am not talking about my kids' coaches. My daughter (and I) have been very fortunate to have some very good coaches during her entire time playing soccer and softball. She doesn't play soccer anymore and I was her coach for most of that time, but her coaches have been great. I'm not saying that I haven't found myself getting involved when I saw one of them miss a teachable moment or disagreed with their decisions. But that's life. I am at a place now where when I feel the coach in me coming out, I walk away. I don't have to do that now (but umpires are still a different story for me.) My son has had mixed results, but he isn't always interested in sports and is drawn to more academic pursuits in general. I must admit I'm still trying to figure that one out and I'll address that in another blog entry.

But, when it rains, it's time for re-directing your energies. If you're ever searching for some inspirational sports quotes, check out some attributed to Martina Navratilova, because some of hers are great, others downright eye-opening. Let me treat you to one:

"The mark of great sportsmen is not how good they are at their best, but how good they are their worst."

It's not the end of the world.

How many times have we heard the story about Michael Jordan being cut as a high school freshman (although he was a JV superstar so the slight to his ability is really more perception than reality, see this Yahoo article) or how Tom Brady didn't play organized football until he entered high school? They both worked out alright. Granted, they have raw ability that can't be taught, but they work hard too. I'm just trying to say that you don't have to hang up your 9-year-old's cleats because they got stuck with a certain coach.

Case in point. Remember the 2001 Tampa Bay Buccaneers? While Tony Dungy is widely-regarded as a players' coach and a teacher, it was John Gruden that swept in, making key personnel moves and defeating his former team in Super Bowl XXXVII. But sometimes you lose, you're the 2001 Bucs, and it's up to you as a parent and your young player to work on their game without guidance from their coach.

Disclaimer Alert. I am not advocating going against your kid's coach. Let me say that again. I am not advocating going against your kid's coach. However, if your child isn't hitting and their coach is offering no instruction (i.e. "keep your eye on the ball" is the best they're getting) then you need to get some outside help and probably set up a net and tee in the backyard.

This is the time to see if your young player is interested in really understanding the game. If they are good with sitting on the bench or hanging out on the field in whichever position their coach deems least significant, you might want to ask them what they're really interested in spending time doing and shift gears before you start blowing money on that new $300 bat that just came out. If this is what they want to do then it's time to go to work (but hold off on buying that expensive equipment just the same for right now.)

Players build character

Players build character, not coaches. Coaches can kill or enhance a player's character by how they handle their players and their team, but player's choose to follow their own path by how they react to obstacles. Got a bad coach? That's an obstacle, but again, it's not the end of the world.

Ever had a bad boss? Have you seen good companies and good leaders fail because of poor employees or a bad business decicion? There are great schools with poor teachers and terrible schools with outstanding ones. If you're in rec ball, this is just one season to make the best of and hopefully the coach's son or daughter is moving up to the next age group and you can get a better replacement. If you're in travel ball, it might be time to find another team.

So, now we go back to the Navratilova quote...and MJ. The flu-game in '97. Michael Jordan will be widely regarded for a long time as the greatest player to ever play the game of basketball. But one of the things he is most remembered for is the playoff game against the Jazz in June of 1997. He was visibly drained, almost human that day. Yet, he found a way to rise above his physical malaise and lead his team to victory. Are you going to give up, get mad (same as giving up by the way) or are you going to do what is necessary to achieve success?

Today's Post-game review

Now you know a little about me and where I am coming from, plus a little about what I expect to see from you and your young athlete. All of this information I have, and will continue to share, is based on respect and careful observation. In my last blog I disputed the importance of titles in lieu of descriptors for "coaches." But this blog was largely on you, the reader, to temper your enthusiasm for blaming the coach. The onus is on you, as a parent, to lead your athlete as they develop. Encourage them. Love them. And be there during their journey, as I am here to guide you along yours.


On deck: Managers, um...manage.